Karma isn't always a bitch . . . sometimes she's nice.
I tell my son all the time: You send out good, you get good. You send out bad, you get bad. You can fill the universe with whatever you want - but, remember, you have to live in it too.
One of my resolutions for this year was to be less of an ass. Cause I am, sometimes. Being in NYC makes me short tempered, impatient. I get snappy. I’ve reignited that irritating New Yorker smugness that the South sweated out of me when I lived there as a teen. I keep a scowl on my face when going up and down the street or subway (ok, I do smile a lot when I’m lost in thought … my thoughts are so beautiful sometimes) to discourage men from bothering me. I walk a fine line of assertive that often carries over into unfriendly. I have a chip on my shoulder with the world - had it since I was an angst-ridden teen and I’m still working on filling that chip in and smoothing it out in my 30s (I’ve gotten better.)
While I have failed miserably to maintain this resolution in some areas (such as, my annoying crazy smelly downstairs neighbors, aka Crazy Angela, and the ones beneath them, the Garbage Nazi’s, aka The People Under the Stairs and those damned receipt checkers at J&R … sorry but that guy really pissed me off today, fucktard) - I’ve managed to keep it in other areas.
I’m mending ties with family. I’ve been nicer to my neighbors. Nicer to people on the subway. Nice to my coworkers (I do manage to keep my attitude in check at work - I am a professional, you know.) I’ve even tried being nice to … wait for it … tourists! Yup. I’ve given directions. Correctly. And without the “Jesus, you’re stupid this city is on a grid” inflection in my voice.
The results: good is coming back to me.
- Came home to food hanging on the doorknob of my front door from a neighbor as a thank you for shoveling her sidewalk in the last storm. She was shoveling slower than the snow was falling - what was I supposed to do?
- This week I received 3 separate and unrelated compliments from coworkers on my work and/or work ethic. Small, simple things -but they meant a lot.
- 3 different people gave up their seats to me on the train this week for absolutely no reason
- I dropped some cash on the sidewalk and someone actually followed me and gave me the cash back a ways down the block (not creepy followed me home or anything.)
- My boss has been in a decent mood lately
- Work is flowing smoothly
- Bills are paid
- Fridge is full of food
I know these things aren’t directly related to my being less of an ass, but I believe in Karma in both the immediate sense and the macro sense.
It is very challenging to be kind and compassionate in one’s day to day life, especially when you have MY personality and when you live in NYC where the wolves are free to roam. But I’m trying - both for my own sanity and for my son’s future. He will have many challenges to face with as he grows into a man, I don’t want to make things harder for him by setting a self defeating mindset as an example.
Do you try to follow an ethic of compassion in your day to day life?